Music: One of best healing, inspiring and testimony building powers EVER!
So, I've talked about tunnel singing before, but I am now going to do it again. :)
This last weekend I went tunnel singing with my boyfriend. It was a lot of fun. I really and honestly love going just to hear those hymns sung so loud. Even if there are only like 20 people there, the tunnel echoes and it sounds like an entire congregation. I love it! And this time the tunnel was stuffed full of people! The first 30 minutes were just fun. We sang songs I liked, I played with the Alto part and did way better than I usually do, and I got to listen to my boyfriend sing (I love his voice, don't tell him that I don't want him to get cocky about it :D). After missionary minute, which was really cool, we sang one of my favorite hymns that I have only sung once before at tunnel singing. 'A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief.'
The last time we sang this song at tunnel singing (the last time I had been there for this song anyway) was when a very, very close friend of mine came for the first, and only, time. He...isn't always necessarily on the straight and narrow and at this particular time he was trying to prepare for a mission but was having some issues. During this song, he broke down and just bawled(while trying to hide the fact that he was bawling). He sat down against the wall, with his head down and wouldn't get back up until he had stopped crying. I was so happy. This showed to little, naive me that he had a testimony. He could feel the Spirit, he knew what was right and wrong and he would get on his mission. It would be hard, but he would be able to do it! Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. It kind of tore me up...a lot. This song, which was already hard to sing because of the wonderful Spirit I feel whenever I sing it, was almost impossible to sing now. I wasn't angry at the false hope or anything, I know that was all me and my mental craziness, I was just always reminded of how that hope was snapped in half in a text. (A text?!)
Anyway, back to tunnel singing this time! So we started to sing this song and I kind of just mumbled 'oh, no' to myself. I love this song, SO much. I just hate crying. Well by the 2nd or 3rd verse I was trying really hard to hold back tears. Images kept flashing through my mind of the last time I had sung this in that same tunnel, opposite side of the tunnel, but still the same tunnel. By the 4th or 5th verse (there are 7) I was bawling. I had to stop singing in some parts. The Spirit I felt was so strong, and it was full of peace and comfort, which of course only made me cry harder! I felt bad that I hadn't thought about this person in awhile, not in this light anyway. Usually when I think of this individual it is very bittersweet. This was still bitter, but throughout the night it turned pretty much just sweet. Instead of thinking of all the things that had gone wrong and how people were mistreated, etc. I also thought of all the good times. I thought about how I missed certain things about this person. I thought of all their positive qualities. At the end of the song I looked up at my boyfriend and he also had tears in his eyes, which made me cry even more! Good golly, you'd think I was a girl or something? :P
After 'A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief' we sang 'I Believe in Christ' and 'I Know that My Redeemer Lives' and 'God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again' and we ended with the usual 'I Need Thee Every Hour.' Throughout all of these songs I paid more attention to the words than I think I ever have in a hymn. I was a MESS. Could NOT stop crying. 'I Believe in Christ' has been added to my list of favorite hymns! The words are amazing and the Spirit I felt testifying of the truth of the words I was singing was HUGE. This was one of the biggest testimony builders OF MY LIFE! It was insane and I loved it as much as I hated it (just the crying part I hated anyway). Throughout this entire thing I was praying in my heart and thanking my Heavenly Father for the words, the songs, the people around me, the experiences I have had in my life, even the hard ones, and for my memories. I know that the Spirit was there for me that night, it was comforting me, it was teaching me and it was testifying to me that Heavenly Father is there, He loves me and all He needs is for me to open the door to him.
As we drove him I continued to cry silently (I looked out the window so Adam wouldn't notice :P) and I was praying in my heart like a mad person! I was thanking Him for everything under the sun and I was asking my Heavenly Father to help this friend of mine. To help him to someday come back to the church. To someday remember his testimony and to remember his Heavenly Father's love and care. I was also praying to him for another person very close to me that I am scared might go inactive someday soon. It scares me, but I felt so much comfort and love I couldn't think of how it scared me, I could just think of how I wanted it to be better. I prayed for another very, very, very close person to me. They have some issues and things they need to take care of, and have been trying very hard to take care of. I prayed for their strength, I prayed and asked for any way I can help, I prayed for Him to send His comfort and His love. (I'm being redundant I know, but this whole experience was just...wow...and I wanted to share.) I prayed without even knowing what the heck I was praying for besides just 'help them.'
By the time we got to some really lighted areas where I couldn't hide my tears any more, they stopped for the most part. I would occasionally tear up, but it wouldn't overflow. We got to my boyfriend's house and we went inside. He gave me a huge hug and I teared up AGAIN and my heart was just so full, I had no idea what to say, so I didn't say anything really. After a little while I went home and went to bed.
This entire experience just knocked me out. I loved it, I had never gone through anything quite like it. This was the most testimony building experience I think I have ever had. Any of you that read probably won't care about this too much, but I needed to record it and I want to remember every moment of it. I know that Heavenly Father used music to heal me of some of my doubts and fears. I know that He loves me. I know that He allowed me to go through a lot of the experiences I have for my own growth. He knows what I need WAY more than I do. I know I need to learn to lean on my Heavenly Father and not do everything by myself. I know that, someday, everything will be okay and will work out the way it is supposed to. I know He looks out for me and those around me and I love Him so dang much!
This last weekend I went tunnel singing with my boyfriend. It was a lot of fun. I really and honestly love going just to hear those hymns sung so loud. Even if there are only like 20 people there, the tunnel echoes and it sounds like an entire congregation. I love it! And this time the tunnel was stuffed full of people! The first 30 minutes were just fun. We sang songs I liked, I played with the Alto part and did way better than I usually do, and I got to listen to my boyfriend sing (I love his voice, don't tell him that I don't want him to get cocky about it :D). After missionary minute, which was really cool, we sang one of my favorite hymns that I have only sung once before at tunnel singing. 'A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief.'
The last time we sang this song at tunnel singing (the last time I had been there for this song anyway) was when a very, very close friend of mine came for the first, and only, time. He...isn't always necessarily on the straight and narrow and at this particular time he was trying to prepare for a mission but was having some issues. During this song, he broke down and just bawled(while trying to hide the fact that he was bawling). He sat down against the wall, with his head down and wouldn't get back up until he had stopped crying. I was so happy. This showed to little, naive me that he had a testimony. He could feel the Spirit, he knew what was right and wrong and he would get on his mission. It would be hard, but he would be able to do it! Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. It kind of tore me up...a lot. This song, which was already hard to sing because of the wonderful Spirit I feel whenever I sing it, was almost impossible to sing now. I wasn't angry at the false hope or anything, I know that was all me and my mental craziness, I was just always reminded of how that hope was snapped in half in a text. (A text?!)
Anyway, back to tunnel singing this time! So we started to sing this song and I kind of just mumbled 'oh, no' to myself. I love this song, SO much. I just hate crying. Well by the 2nd or 3rd verse I was trying really hard to hold back tears. Images kept flashing through my mind of the last time I had sung this in that same tunnel, opposite side of the tunnel, but still the same tunnel. By the 4th or 5th verse (there are 7) I was bawling. I had to stop singing in some parts. The Spirit I felt was so strong, and it was full of peace and comfort, which of course only made me cry harder! I felt bad that I hadn't thought about this person in awhile, not in this light anyway. Usually when I think of this individual it is very bittersweet. This was still bitter, but throughout the night it turned pretty much just sweet. Instead of thinking of all the things that had gone wrong and how people were mistreated, etc. I also thought of all the good times. I thought about how I missed certain things about this person. I thought of all their positive qualities. At the end of the song I looked up at my boyfriend and he also had tears in his eyes, which made me cry even more! Good golly, you'd think I was a girl or something? :P
After 'A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief' we sang 'I Believe in Christ' and 'I Know that My Redeemer Lives' and 'God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again' and we ended with the usual 'I Need Thee Every Hour.' Throughout all of these songs I paid more attention to the words than I think I ever have in a hymn. I was a MESS. Could NOT stop crying. 'I Believe in Christ' has been added to my list of favorite hymns! The words are amazing and the Spirit I felt testifying of the truth of the words I was singing was HUGE. This was one of the biggest testimony builders OF MY LIFE! It was insane and I loved it as much as I hated it (just the crying part I hated anyway). Throughout this entire thing I was praying in my heart and thanking my Heavenly Father for the words, the songs, the people around me, the experiences I have had in my life, even the hard ones, and for my memories. I know that the Spirit was there for me that night, it was comforting me, it was teaching me and it was testifying to me that Heavenly Father is there, He loves me and all He needs is for me to open the door to him.
As we drove him I continued to cry silently (I looked out the window so Adam wouldn't notice :P) and I was praying in my heart like a mad person! I was thanking Him for everything under the sun and I was asking my Heavenly Father to help this friend of mine. To help him to someday come back to the church. To someday remember his testimony and to remember his Heavenly Father's love and care. I was also praying to him for another person very close to me that I am scared might go inactive someday soon. It scares me, but I felt so much comfort and love I couldn't think of how it scared me, I could just think of how I wanted it to be better. I prayed for another very, very, very close person to me. They have some issues and things they need to take care of, and have been trying very hard to take care of. I prayed for their strength, I prayed and asked for any way I can help, I prayed for Him to send His comfort and His love. (I'm being redundant I know, but this whole experience was just...wow...and I wanted to share.) I prayed without even knowing what the heck I was praying for besides just 'help them.'
By the time we got to some really lighted areas where I couldn't hide my tears any more, they stopped for the most part. I would occasionally tear up, but it wouldn't overflow. We got to my boyfriend's house and we went inside. He gave me a huge hug and I teared up AGAIN and my heart was just so full, I had no idea what to say, so I didn't say anything really. After a little while I went home and went to bed.
This entire experience just knocked me out. I loved it, I had never gone through anything quite like it. This was the most testimony building experience I think I have ever had. Any of you that read probably won't care about this too much, but I needed to record it and I want to remember every moment of it. I know that Heavenly Father used music to heal me of some of my doubts and fears. I know that He loves me. I know that He allowed me to go through a lot of the experiences I have for my own growth. He knows what I need WAY more than I do. I know I need to learn to lean on my Heavenly Father and not do everything by myself. I know that, someday, everything will be okay and will work out the way it is supposed to. I know He looks out for me and those around me and I love Him so dang much!
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