Summer and Birthdays and Perfection!!
It has been a while... again... so I apologize for that. Basically, I have been having the time of my life this summer. I love where I am, who I am with, that I am closer to my family, and the list is absolutely endless!
For the first few weeks of summer I was able to go home and help my Grandmother and family. I helped my mom with gardening, watching kids, etc. and I love it! I helped my Grandmother with whatever she needed and it was a lot of fun!! I love being home!!!
I am back in Wyoming for the summer doing the Sweetwater Summer Stock Theatre Company and the Sweetwater Summer Theatre for Youth here at one of my most favorite places: Western Wyoming Community College. I could NOT be happier. I am in both shows. In the show called "The Boy Friend" I am the French headmistress of a finishing school with many English girl students. I have a lovely maid, Hortense, played by Janay, and eventually I meet up with the love of my life that I had had 20 years ago. He happens to be the father of my favorite student, Polly. It is a ridiculous and silly show, but I'm loving it. There are 3 super short acts and I have a song in each and it has just been SO wonderful to be working with Jamie again and being able to do process oriented theatre and doing workshops/exercises/warm-ups nearly every day. They are SO helpful and getting a quick refresher course in everything has been absolutely wonderful. In the play "Anne of Green Gables" I am Mrs. Julia Barry. Anne's best friend's mother. So I'm not in it a whole lot, but I get some fun scenes! And it is the meanest role I think I have ever had... so there's that!
In the Youth Theatre productions I get to music direct Stephen Sondheim's "Into the Woods, JR". Ya... I'm going to die, and it is going to be awesome!! I have a wonderful cast I get to start working with tomorrow and they are all incredibly talented! I cannot wait to find ways to make music directing process, to introduce Hearing/Vocal qualities, make them think about their characters, find objectives and obstacles, play with image work, etc. etc. It is going to be WONDERFUL!!!! In "The Jungle Book, Kids" I am the Assistant Costume Designer. HA! We will see how this goes... I am getting better with costume stuff since I have been helping Kris Nichols make costumes for "The Boy Friend" for the past few weeks during my "down time".
Holy heck. I love being back here. Everything is so wonderful. In the first day or two of my being back here I laughed more than I had in a year. Sad? Yes. It made me incredibly upset when I had that realization. Sure, I laughed that past year... but no where near as much, no where near as hard, and no where near as real. I usually laugh until tears come streaming down my face like once a week I feel! But not this last year. It hit me really hard just how unhappy I was there. I hate to say it... but I was.
The safe environment that Jamie teaches, and we all kind of laugh at on occasion, is SO real and SO helpful. Just walking into a room here feels different than it does anywhere else. Here you KNOW you are going to get help, and if you don't think you are getting enough in class you feel comfortable with going up to your professor's and asking for once a week acting lessons! I did it. And it was so beneficial.
I know it isn't just me and where I was that this was happening. I've talked to other friends of mine that have gone other places and none of us can handle it. One of my friends isn't even going back to BYU-I. She hates it. Other's hate UW, but are still staying just to finish off their bachelor's... which is what I am doing at SVU. I haven't grown since being there. In some ways, I know I have. But when it comes to my craft, my life, my skill... I haven't. The only time I feel good about my acting up there is when I spend hours and hours in practice rooms and practice everything I possibly can about what Jamie has taught me. Being here, I have already progressed some more. Not exponentially, but more than I did in an entire year at SVU. I'm not telling people not to go to SVU, I just want to tell it how it is and if you can handle it after Western then go ahead and go. It will be the same most everywhere. The place people seem to have had the least amount of hate is USU. But there is a group of them up there so if they hate something then they know they have that entire support group that understands them and what they are going through acting/teaching/directing wise.
I love my professor at SVU. I love doing shows up there. I just wish more things could be accomplished when it comes to learning. Exercises, workshops, etc. are so unbelievably helpful and I feel like I'm floundering and drowning up there because I do not know exactly what is wrong and instead of getting a workshop I get a "work on this, find a way how, and the end" and I am not given the one on one help that is so beneficial.
WELL, this is not the rant I mean to go on. I mean every word, but I meant to just talk about how happy I am, and how incredibly at peace I am here at Western. My roommate is one of my new favorite people in the world. She is hilarious and going to UW and I wish we had met sooner! She kinda kills me. Watching a friend of mine from SVU up here as she learns has also been rewarding. She has grown leaps and bounds, and it has been only 3 weeks. She is sucking up everything that Jamie has to teach and she is learning to utilize it. She is on her way towards becoming an incredibly strong and talented actress. All of us up here talk about her and how much she has impressed us with her dedication, how much she has learned, and how mold-able/teachable she is. I know she is considering getting a second associate's degree... and it would be here in Musical Theatre. I hope she does it!! She would absolutely love it and be completely inundated with theatre!
ANYWAY, I am so, so, so, so, so happy here. I cannot even begin to believe how full I feel when I am here and learning. All the nasty holes I was trying so hard to cover up are just filling up on their own while I am here. I don't even remember how depressed I was just a few months ago. It seems impossible for me to ever be that sad. Now, I know I had my rough times here at Western. I know it was crazy, hectic, emotional, and absolutely insane. But it all came together to teach me and help me. After this last year, I felt no help, not much teaching, just a NEED to be home and a NEED to be away and have a good long break. I am still hoping that after this next year I will be shown why EXACTLY I need to continue going to SVU and even if it isn't for my theatre growth, that it will be for some sort of real growth that I need to continue on my path.
A week ago today was my birthday (WOO! I am SO good at transitions!!) and it was absolutely wonderful! My roommate, who I've only known for 3 weeks, 2 by my birthday, made me a delicious lemon cake that looked like a frog and a cute lily pad! It was so wonderful! She threw a little party for me and she gave me a frog fly swatter. It became my birthday wand!! Yesterday my dear friend, Mariah, got me a sonic screw driver (10th Doctor version, too!!!). It is just little and lights up but I am absolutely in love with it!! I love how after such a short period of time this entire company has grown so close and we all love each other and want each other to succeed. My room was packed full of theatre people, even if they just popped in to say hello and happy birthday. Goodness gracious I miss this place and these people. I still wish more than anything that this was a 4 year university I could stay in until I earned my BFA. :(
But, in a nutshell, my life is wonderful and perfect this summer and I haven't been posting much because I am constantly busy!!! The next 2-3 weeks are going to be a ginormous glob of busy, busy, busy!!!!! Yay for kids' shows and my own rehearsals and preparing for the next day full of rehearsals and tech assignments!!! :D :D :D
I love you all!!!!
For the first few weeks of summer I was able to go home and help my Grandmother and family. I helped my mom with gardening, watching kids, etc. and I love it! I helped my Grandmother with whatever she needed and it was a lot of fun!! I love being home!!!
I am back in Wyoming for the summer doing the Sweetwater Summer Stock Theatre Company and the Sweetwater Summer Theatre for Youth here at one of my most favorite places: Western Wyoming Community College. I could NOT be happier. I am in both shows. In the show called "The Boy Friend" I am the French headmistress of a finishing school with many English girl students. I have a lovely maid, Hortense, played by Janay, and eventually I meet up with the love of my life that I had had 20 years ago. He happens to be the father of my favorite student, Polly. It is a ridiculous and silly show, but I'm loving it. There are 3 super short acts and I have a song in each and it has just been SO wonderful to be working with Jamie again and being able to do process oriented theatre and doing workshops/exercises/warm-ups nearly every day. They are SO helpful and getting a quick refresher course in everything has been absolutely wonderful. In the play "Anne of Green Gables" I am Mrs. Julia Barry. Anne's best friend's mother. So I'm not in it a whole lot, but I get some fun scenes! And it is the meanest role I think I have ever had... so there's that!
In the Youth Theatre productions I get to music direct Stephen Sondheim's "Into the Woods, JR". Ya... I'm going to die, and it is going to be awesome!! I have a wonderful cast I get to start working with tomorrow and they are all incredibly talented! I cannot wait to find ways to make music directing process, to introduce Hearing/Vocal qualities, make them think about their characters, find objectives and obstacles, play with image work, etc. etc. It is going to be WONDERFUL!!!! In "The Jungle Book, Kids" I am the Assistant Costume Designer. HA! We will see how this goes... I am getting better with costume stuff since I have been helping Kris Nichols make costumes for "The Boy Friend" for the past few weeks during my "down time".
Holy heck. I love being back here. Everything is so wonderful. In the first day or two of my being back here I laughed more than I had in a year. Sad? Yes. It made me incredibly upset when I had that realization. Sure, I laughed that past year... but no where near as much, no where near as hard, and no where near as real. I usually laugh until tears come streaming down my face like once a week I feel! But not this last year. It hit me really hard just how unhappy I was there. I hate to say it... but I was.
The safe environment that Jamie teaches, and we all kind of laugh at on occasion, is SO real and SO helpful. Just walking into a room here feels different than it does anywhere else. Here you KNOW you are going to get help, and if you don't think you are getting enough in class you feel comfortable with going up to your professor's and asking for once a week acting lessons! I did it. And it was so beneficial.
I know it isn't just me and where I was that this was happening. I've talked to other friends of mine that have gone other places and none of us can handle it. One of my friends isn't even going back to BYU-I. She hates it. Other's hate UW, but are still staying just to finish off their bachelor's... which is what I am doing at SVU. I haven't grown since being there. In some ways, I know I have. But when it comes to my craft, my life, my skill... I haven't. The only time I feel good about my acting up there is when I spend hours and hours in practice rooms and practice everything I possibly can about what Jamie has taught me. Being here, I have already progressed some more. Not exponentially, but more than I did in an entire year at SVU. I'm not telling people not to go to SVU, I just want to tell it how it is and if you can handle it after Western then go ahead and go. It will be the same most everywhere. The place people seem to have had the least amount of hate is USU. But there is a group of them up there so if they hate something then they know they have that entire support group that understands them and what they are going through acting/teaching/directing wise.
I love my professor at SVU. I love doing shows up there. I just wish more things could be accomplished when it comes to learning. Exercises, workshops, etc. are so unbelievably helpful and I feel like I'm floundering and drowning up there because I do not know exactly what is wrong and instead of getting a workshop I get a "work on this, find a way how, and the end" and I am not given the one on one help that is so beneficial.
WELL, this is not the rant I mean to go on. I mean every word, but I meant to just talk about how happy I am, and how incredibly at peace I am here at Western. My roommate is one of my new favorite people in the world. She is hilarious and going to UW and I wish we had met sooner! She kinda kills me. Watching a friend of mine from SVU up here as she learns has also been rewarding. She has grown leaps and bounds, and it has been only 3 weeks. She is sucking up everything that Jamie has to teach and she is learning to utilize it. She is on her way towards becoming an incredibly strong and talented actress. All of us up here talk about her and how much she has impressed us with her dedication, how much she has learned, and how mold-able/teachable she is. I know she is considering getting a second associate's degree... and it would be here in Musical Theatre. I hope she does it!! She would absolutely love it and be completely inundated with theatre!
ANYWAY, I am so, so, so, so, so happy here. I cannot even begin to believe how full I feel when I am here and learning. All the nasty holes I was trying so hard to cover up are just filling up on their own while I am here. I don't even remember how depressed I was just a few months ago. It seems impossible for me to ever be that sad. Now, I know I had my rough times here at Western. I know it was crazy, hectic, emotional, and absolutely insane. But it all came together to teach me and help me. After this last year, I felt no help, not much teaching, just a NEED to be home and a NEED to be away and have a good long break. I am still hoping that after this next year I will be shown why EXACTLY I need to continue going to SVU and even if it isn't for my theatre growth, that it will be for some sort of real growth that I need to continue on my path.
A week ago today was my birthday (WOO! I am SO good at transitions!!) and it was absolutely wonderful! My roommate, who I've only known for 3 weeks, 2 by my birthday, made me a delicious lemon cake that looked like a frog and a cute lily pad! It was so wonderful! She threw a little party for me and she gave me a frog fly swatter. It became my birthday wand!! Yesterday my dear friend, Mariah, got me a sonic screw driver (10th Doctor version, too!!!). It is just little and lights up but I am absolutely in love with it!! I love how after such a short period of time this entire company has grown so close and we all love each other and want each other to succeed. My room was packed full of theatre people, even if they just popped in to say hello and happy birthday. Goodness gracious I miss this place and these people. I still wish more than anything that this was a 4 year university I could stay in until I earned my BFA. :(
But, in a nutshell, my life is wonderful and perfect this summer and I haven't been posting much because I am constantly busy!!! The next 2-3 weeks are going to be a ginormous glob of busy, busy, busy!!!!! Yay for kids' shows and my own rehearsals and preparing for the next day full of rehearsals and tech assignments!!! :D :D :D
I love you all!!!!
I'm glad you're still blogging :D
ReplyDeleteThanks, Em!!! Love you!
DeleteI actually thought of you while writing this. I remembered when we would walk to Taco John's or whatever just to have internet and on Sundays I would blog :D
If you're so unhappy at SVU, and you don't have any friends that make you happy/truly laugh, why go back?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteAnd Anonymous. I do have some truly wonderful friends at SVU. I love and miss them all the time, even when they don't respond to anything I send them over the summer. The problem with SVU isn't the friends I have or haven't made. The problem for me is the environment. At Western, no one feels judged. We feel safe. The theatre department is a safe place. The school is a safe place. We can be who we want to be and no one cares. I wear my craziest outfits and no one blinks. I don't get judged. I don't get people coming up to me saying "sooo... you are a convert right? Did the missionaries teach you about modesty?" So yes, that is partially my fault... but it still isn't okay. The amount of judgment I feel and see every day at SVU is ridiculous. And for someone who just barely overcame MANY MANY MANY self-confidence issues, it is incredibly hard to go someplace like that and not sink back into those issues. I used to suffer from anorexia. Being at SVU made me want to fall back into those habits. Being at SVU made me want to change who I am to become some cookie cutter person. I didn't because I did have friends that supported me. From Western and SVU. All of THOSE reasons are why I couldn't and didn't laugh enough at SVU. I didn't feel safe. At Western I can get all sorts of roles despite my body weight. They realize that looks and weight are not everything. At SVU I feel like I have to fall back into habits of anorexia and over-working my body just so I can get a decent role. Not my cup of tea. I realize I was spoiled at Western, but someday I am going to run a theatre and I will cast whoever has the talent for a part, not who looks like a part. I am going to teach teenagers they can do what they love and still love themselves as they are as well.
DeleteI am going back because I know that is what my Heavenly Father wants me to do. I am either there to help someone, or them to help me, or both. I am there to gain connections. I am there because He wants me to be. And I love the friendships I have gained at SVU. I just wish people there would see themselves as I, and, even better, their Heavenly Father sees them. I see so many depressed and sad people that hate themselves, when in reality they are beautiful and wonderful. I can't handle seeing that kind of pain. I've been through it. And I'm a relatively empathetic person. If I see people suffering so much on a regular basis, I hurt too. Causes this whole laughter and truly happy thing to not really happen. I hope that clears some of this up. My friends are WONDERFUL there. The way most of them see themselves and, sometimes even me, is NOT wonderful. And the whole marriage hungry thing that tends to permeate campus is not my cup of tea... but that one is pretty easy to ignore usually.