So I'm a Kid. Who Cares.
So I'm a bit of a child. It probably isn't SUPER obvious from my posts since I tend to write about more serious things, but yes. I'm a kid. I probably have a 5 year old somewhere inside my college-kid sized body. I don't mind that I act like a kid, in fact, it is a good release from every day stress and annoyance.
Something I have discovered lately, is that people think I should grow up more. Okay, I can handle that, but why? Why get rid of child-like joy? Why get rid of occasionally playing soccer with empty milk jugs in my room with my roommate? Why should I always be stoic and have an 'adult' sense of humor? Why can't I be excited about a bow in my hair, a new stuffed animal, crayons, fuzzy socks, awesome rain boots? Who's to say I shouldn't be? No one that really matters to me so far.
I want to retain a child-like innocence, a child-like love of things that make me happy. Life...can be hell. I'm sorry if I come across as child-ish and immature rather than loving life and child-like. (yes there is a difference). But I need that kind of radiant sunshine in my life or I might implode from stress. Everyone deals with stress differently. At least in my actions I don't come across as a buffoon.
I've heard people blame my involvement in theatre for being like such a kid. That might be one factor of it, but I don't think it would matter if I did theatre or not, I would still want to act the way I do now. I didn't even really start theatre until my Junior year of high school and many people can attest to my child-like giddiness from middle school and all through high school.
If I were terribly immature would I have a life plan for me? Probably not. Well I do. And it isn't a "I'm going to go and be famous on Broadway and in movies and I'm going to be awesome!!" No. I am going to get my Bachelor's in Musical Theatre and start taking more Psychology courses. I am then going to maybe get my Master's in Musical Theatre at the Royal Academy of Scotland. Then I am going to come back and get my Master's in Children's Theatre with an emphasis in psychology and counseling and I am going to get as certified as possible to do drama therapy for kids. Does that sound like something a child-ish immature person would do? I don't think so. I am going to have to go through hell and back with all of the work I am going to have to do, and with every single child I encounter within the drama therapy profession. Most children that I will see will have been through something traumatic and most likely the social service system. I am going to have to learn to keep a wall between me and my empathy or just a couple of months of this career is going to kill me. I am emotionally mature enough to handle it, but it will still be hard. I know all the work I am going to have to do is going to be insane.
Do I still sound like a kid to you? Do I still sound like an immature, obnoxious, impudent person? I hope not. I have hopes, dreams and desires, but with them comes a lot of stress. I relieve my stress by being me, by letting my inner-child surface and have some fun.
I know there is a lot of work ahead of me. I know there are times and moments when I need to be serious and really think about things. I know there are times when I can't be a kid. But I also know that mommy's kisses or kind words are still magical. I know that coloring with crayons and playing make believe is one of the best ways to spend a day. Frogs and penguins should be best friends forever. Spiffy rain boots are cooler than TV. Rainbows and pretty stars, clouds that look like puppies and dragons, and just the sky in general can make my day. And love stories still make me giggle and ache like a crazy teenager who thinks she is in love. I realize I am crazy and I don't care. I am going to do whatever it takes to get me to the places I want to be. If that means running around with a giant stuffed animal frog and belting at the top of my lungs "It's Raining Men" to relieve stress then I'm going to, gosh dang it!
I will not get rid of my inner-child because of other people judging me and looking down on me. I am who I am, if you don't like it, you don't need to publicize it or ridicule me for it. I honestly believe everyone should let out their inner child every once in a while. Not to say that all you boys should let out your destructive side, just let out the fun-loving and innocent side of you that continually tries to disappear as we get older. I am what I am because it makes me happy. It keeps me sane (many people would probably argue that statement, but it does) and lets me have fun. Don't judge me, or others similar to me in this way, for embracing something that does helps life go by a little easier.
Something I have discovered lately, is that people think I should grow up more. Okay, I can handle that, but why? Why get rid of child-like joy? Why get rid of occasionally playing soccer with empty milk jugs in my room with my roommate? Why should I always be stoic and have an 'adult' sense of humor? Why can't I be excited about a bow in my hair, a new stuffed animal, crayons, fuzzy socks, awesome rain boots? Who's to say I shouldn't be? No one that really matters to me so far.
I want to retain a child-like innocence, a child-like love of things that make me happy. Life...can be hell. I'm sorry if I come across as child-ish and immature rather than loving life and child-like. (yes there is a difference). But I need that kind of radiant sunshine in my life or I might implode from stress. Everyone deals with stress differently. At least in my actions I don't come across as a buffoon.
I've heard people blame my involvement in theatre for being like such a kid. That might be one factor of it, but I don't think it would matter if I did theatre or not, I would still want to act the way I do now. I didn't even really start theatre until my Junior year of high school and many people can attest to my child-like giddiness from middle school and all through high school.
If I were terribly immature would I have a life plan for me? Probably not. Well I do. And it isn't a "I'm going to go and be famous on Broadway and in movies and I'm going to be awesome!!" No. I am going to get my Bachelor's in Musical Theatre and start taking more Psychology courses. I am then going to maybe get my Master's in Musical Theatre at the Royal Academy of Scotland. Then I am going to come back and get my Master's in Children's Theatre with an emphasis in psychology and counseling and I am going to get as certified as possible to do drama therapy for kids. Does that sound like something a child-ish immature person would do? I don't think so. I am going to have to go through hell and back with all of the work I am going to have to do, and with every single child I encounter within the drama therapy profession. Most children that I will see will have been through something traumatic and most likely the social service system. I am going to have to learn to keep a wall between me and my empathy or just a couple of months of this career is going to kill me. I am emotionally mature enough to handle it, but it will still be hard. I know all the work I am going to have to do is going to be insane.
Do I still sound like a kid to you? Do I still sound like an immature, obnoxious, impudent person? I hope not. I have hopes, dreams and desires, but with them comes a lot of stress. I relieve my stress by being me, by letting my inner-child surface and have some fun.
I know there is a lot of work ahead of me. I know there are times and moments when I need to be serious and really think about things. I know there are times when I can't be a kid. But I also know that mommy's kisses or kind words are still magical. I know that coloring with crayons and playing make believe is one of the best ways to spend a day. Frogs and penguins should be best friends forever. Spiffy rain boots are cooler than TV. Rainbows and pretty stars, clouds that look like puppies and dragons, and just the sky in general can make my day. And love stories still make me giggle and ache like a crazy teenager who thinks she is in love. I realize I am crazy and I don't care. I am going to do whatever it takes to get me to the places I want to be. If that means running around with a giant stuffed animal frog and belting at the top of my lungs "It's Raining Men" to relieve stress then I'm going to, gosh dang it!
I will not get rid of my inner-child because of other people judging me and looking down on me. I am who I am, if you don't like it, you don't need to publicize it or ridicule me for it. I honestly believe everyone should let out their inner child every once in a while. Not to say that all you boys should let out your destructive side, just let out the fun-loving and innocent side of you that continually tries to disappear as we get older. I am what I am because it makes me happy. It keeps me sane (many people would probably argue that statement, but it does) and lets me have fun. Don't judge me, or others similar to me in this way, for embracing something that does helps life go by a little easier.
Comments
Post a Comment