Chasing Butterflies

So I knew this summer that I would grow, a lot. But I didn't expect to grow in the ways I have. Summer Stock has been an amazing experience so far. One of the main ways I think I have grown as a person is that I am becoming for open to emotion. I hate being the emotional wreck, or the one who cries or anything like that. I hate revealing that kind of emotion. I honestly think it might be because I am scared of that kind of emotion. I don't want to feel the depth of those emotions. But if I don't feel the depth of them, then I don't think I will ever be able to feel the depth of my happiness and joy that I could be capable of. This summer I am cast as the part of M'Lynn in Steel Magnolias. Her part can be very taxing emotionally, especially the end scene. I don't want to spoil the ending for anyone, but pretty much my character and I break down in tears and sob and sob and sob. This character is very good at hiding her emotions and inner thoughts. She is call...

Something I have discovered over the past year is that distance really does make the heart grow fonder. Not in all cases, but in a lot. There are certain members of my family that I generally just don't get along with very well. We fight, argue, get annoyed with each other, push each other's buttons on purpose and are just downright awful too each other. We know we love each other, we just don't always like each other. Well, since being away at college I have become closer to almost every member of my family. Especially one of my younger sisters. She now comes to me for singing, boy and homework help. She will tell me about what's going on in her life because she wants me to be proud of her. And I am. I miss her and I love her and I am so happy that by coming away to college I was able to grow closer to her. I know my mom was always worried that once we were all grown up my sister and I wouldn't keep in touch, but we do. She texts me every night saying that she lo...

Update on Jasmine's life: I am doing the Summer Stock Theatre Company up at my Community College and we have been here for one week and I love it! It's crazy and stressful and insane and busy but I love it. My life is filled with all sorts of aspects of theatre. I am Assistant Stage Manager for the kids' show and I am M'Lynn in Steel Magnolias. We are going to have auditions pretty soon or Nunsense. If I don't get a part in that one then I will be Stage Manager. In the kids' show I am also the Assistant Music Director. I am loving life. There are always going to be stressful moments and times when I think I am going to die from being so busy, especially since I am also taking an online Government class that has tons of homework. We are doing 16 weeks worth of stuff in 8 weeks. I have been so blessed. It's hard to see it sometimes, but I really have been. I have an amazing family that I love so much. I have friends surrounding me here and at home and rand...

Life has this weird way of just being absolutely crazy. Things always seem to happen all at once. Whether it's homework, meetings, big decisions, etc., it all seems to happen at once and you just see explosions and fireworks and no end to the craziness. Well these past two and half weeks of being home again were like that. I had to do yard work, look for a car, test drive cars, drive siblings places, hang out with the people I wanted to see before I came back up to Wyoming, pack my stuff for the summer, and in different boxes pack up my fall stuff and I was just getting so stressed that I couldn't see an end to it. But now that I am at the end of that craziness and about to start a completely new one that is going to last for 2-2.5 months... I miss it. There are obviously things I could have done without, but it all ended up being a good experience that I learned more about myself, those around me and my issues with big decisions. On Friday night, I bought a car. I was to...