Kid's Camp: Lessons on Love
Background: I work at a theatre. Brigham's Playhouse in Washington, UT. I moved out here in September and haven't really looked back (though I've tried looking forward without much success 😂). I do whatever I can for them though I tend to be a bit useless (as far as tech goes), BUT this summer I had the terrifying opportunity to spend 3 weeks teaching 46 children in Acting and Musical Theatre classes. Then I spent another 3 weeks directing 80 children anywhere from 9-18 years old in Beauty and the Beast Jr. I only had 2.5 hours a day, 5 days a week. It. Was. Terrifying. But I had an amazing team around me for both camps and somehow we pulled all this off.
First, teaching. I've always been scared of teaching and thought I would do a pretty horrible job of it. I like coaching individuals- especially ones that already have some training or at least a HUGE desire to learn. Usually peers. I've had so many people tell me they think I would be a great teacher. I have yet to believe it, but it is a skill I am now brave enough to take on! During the first camp I was somehow made the "head teacher". I still don't understand why since I had no idea what I was doing. But somehow during this camp I learned all 46 of the children's names, I connected with them, and I loved them. I'm not saying it wasn't hard and full of difficult days- it was all the time. But seeing them grow, seeing them want to learn, seeing them help each other, and seeing them encourage each other to be brave was all the reward I needed for such a grueling 3 weeks. During their tech week (they were putting on Seussical Jr) I took off to visit my family. When I returned and watched their show I was showered in love and appreciation when the kids saw me. I wasn't expecting it in the slightest! I expected some high-fives, but I was surrounded with love, questions, and experiences they had had during tech week and their opening performances.
Second, directing. Oh. My. Goodness. This was even more nerve-wracking than teaching! (Though, I've discovered I like it and that it's easier than teaching... Less nightly lesson planning/re-working...😅) I ended up sick by tech week from stress and lack of sleep. I totally lost my voice trying to communicate with all EIGHTY of these marvelous kids as we added all of the technical elements to the show (my voice is still recovering it was so bad/funny). I learned just about every single one of their names (some of the kids worked more with the choreographer than me, so I get some of them confused still, but I know all their faces) and tried to learn at least a tiny bit about them. I love them and I am so grateful for them. It was my first time directing, I had 2 casts, I had to try and learn what worked best for each of them, and I needed to try and remember the big picture and the message I wanted to give to the kids and to audiences. It was stressful, but again, seeing them grow, seeing them want to learn, seeing them help each other, and seeing them encourage each other to be brave was all I needed to keep trying. They were marvelous. After the show opened I wasn't around as often. I had my own rehearsals and I wanted to make sure the kids knew I trusted them enough to do the show well without me there. Any time I would see any of them as I went to my own rehearsals I was bombarded with love. Bombarded with questions, "hellos", stories, and hugs. I was late to rehearsals a number of times because my kids would want to tell me all about their performance, their ideas, and anything else that came to mind. It was one of my favorite parts of my day.
These kids. I have learned so much from these kids. They think they were being taught, but in reality, my summer was full of lessons that they taught me. I learned more about patience, more about exploring, more about how not a single part is small, more about ways we cope, etc. However, my absolutely most favorite lesson I learned (and am still learning!) was how to be child-like. I've been told to "become like a child" so many times in my life. I never fully comprehended it despite thinking I did. The goal is not to be child-ish, but child-like. Now these kids all had moments of being child-ish, but that was bound to happen in a camp with 40-80 nine to eighteen year olds. But what changed me was how child-like they were. They don't know anything about me, they don't know my past, they hardly know my present, they know nothing about my future goals, my failings, my successes, insecurities or fears, and yet I was loved. It was a complete, unconditional and full love. They had no judgment or reservations. As their teacher or director, I had to get loud and get onto them multiple times, but they still loved me. I was perfectly fine with being late to rehearsals because what kept me from those responsibilities was being in a room surrounded by a warm blanket of unhindered love and affection. There are kids from the first camp that I have only seen once or twice since Seussical ended and they still run up to me and give me a huge hug or smile. They still thank me for teaching them, they still want me to know about their lives and how much they loved doing the show.
Holy cow! Can you imagine what the world would be like if we could all love like a child!? I have rarely felt such a pure love come from another human being. Watching these kids and feeling with these kids has taught me more about charity, the pure love of Christ, than anything else. I thought being a Relief Society President taught me as much as my mortal self could know about feeling and receiving that kind of love. But I've been humbled. :) The child-like trust and admiration I saw in the kids' eyes taught me even more. I didn't deserve that love. I floundered every day, I struggled to communicate what I wanted, and I felt like I was faking it and failing every time I gave a direction or advice. The kids didn't see that. They saw someone that was giving them an opportunity to have fun, learn, and have a great show to perform for their parents and friends. They saw strength when I saw weakness. They saw bravery when I saw cowardice. They saw knowledge when I saw ignorance.
I feel strongly that this is Christ's love for us. He knows we are going to flounder, fail, and struggle to communicate or do what we need to do. But he trusts us to figure it out. He knows we are capable of making a beautiful show out of our lives. He knows there will be conflict. But He also knows their will be resolution and lessons learned. Even when we fail or lose our tempers (or voices) He looks to us with love and trust in His eyes. He understands that we are needed even if we feel incapable and unworthy. (I have so many different thoughts in my head about how being a director is being Christ-like and how being a trusting actor is as well, so if this gets all jumbled just know it makes sense in my head, haha.) He sees our strengths, our bravery, and our knowledge. But unlike the kids, He sees my past, my present, and my future and He STILL loves me with this pure, unadulterated, and true love. He still loves you perfectly and completely despite knowing your past, present, and future. Love. It always comes down to love, doesn't it? What a beautiful truth.
August 11th was closing day. At the end of the day after cast pictures and during strike/load-in (when you take down everything from the show and get ready for the next) my stage manager handed me a huge poster board covered in notes and signatures from the kids. As they left I was drowning in hugs, gratitude, and tears. As hard as this experience was I would never give it up or trade it. I learned more about myself, my capabilities, and most importantly, I learned about the love of children and what it means to truly become child-like and full of the pure love of Christ. Obviously I have a long way to go, but everything begins with a single step, right? :)
First, teaching. I've always been scared of teaching and thought I would do a pretty horrible job of it. I like coaching individuals- especially ones that already have some training or at least a HUGE desire to learn. Usually peers. I've had so many people tell me they think I would be a great teacher. I have yet to believe it, but it is a skill I am now brave enough to take on! During the first camp I was somehow made the "head teacher". I still don't understand why since I had no idea what I was doing. But somehow during this camp I learned all 46 of the children's names, I connected with them, and I loved them. I'm not saying it wasn't hard and full of difficult days- it was all the time. But seeing them grow, seeing them want to learn, seeing them help each other, and seeing them encourage each other to be brave was all the reward I needed for such a grueling 3 weeks. During their tech week (they were putting on Seussical Jr) I took off to visit my family. When I returned and watched their show I was showered in love and appreciation when the kids saw me. I wasn't expecting it in the slightest! I expected some high-fives, but I was surrounded with love, questions, and experiences they had had during tech week and their opening performances.
Second, directing. Oh. My. Goodness. This was even more nerve-wracking than teaching! (Though, I've discovered I like it and that it's easier than teaching... Less nightly lesson planning/re-working...😅) I ended up sick by tech week from stress and lack of sleep. I totally lost my voice trying to communicate with all EIGHTY of these marvelous kids as we added all of the technical elements to the show (my voice is still recovering it was so bad/funny). I learned just about every single one of their names (some of the kids worked more with the choreographer than me, so I get some of them confused still, but I know all their faces) and tried to learn at least a tiny bit about them. I love them and I am so grateful for them. It was my first time directing, I had 2 casts, I had to try and learn what worked best for each of them, and I needed to try and remember the big picture and the message I wanted to give to the kids and to audiences. It was stressful, but again, seeing them grow, seeing them want to learn, seeing them help each other, and seeing them encourage each other to be brave was all I needed to keep trying. They were marvelous. After the show opened I wasn't around as often. I had my own rehearsals and I wanted to make sure the kids knew I trusted them enough to do the show well without me there. Any time I would see any of them as I went to my own rehearsals I was bombarded with love. Bombarded with questions, "hellos", stories, and hugs. I was late to rehearsals a number of times because my kids would want to tell me all about their performance, their ideas, and anything else that came to mind. It was one of my favorite parts of my day.
These kids. I have learned so much from these kids. They think they were being taught, but in reality, my summer was full of lessons that they taught me. I learned more about patience, more about exploring, more about how not a single part is small, more about ways we cope, etc. However, my absolutely most favorite lesson I learned (and am still learning!) was how to be child-like. I've been told to "become like a child" so many times in my life. I never fully comprehended it despite thinking I did. The goal is not to be child-ish, but child-like. Now these kids all had moments of being child-ish, but that was bound to happen in a camp with 40-80 nine to eighteen year olds. But what changed me was how child-like they were. They don't know anything about me, they don't know my past, they hardly know my present, they know nothing about my future goals, my failings, my successes, insecurities or fears, and yet I was loved. It was a complete, unconditional and full love. They had no judgment or reservations. As their teacher or director, I had to get loud and get onto them multiple times, but they still loved me. I was perfectly fine with being late to rehearsals because what kept me from those responsibilities was being in a room surrounded by a warm blanket of unhindered love and affection. There are kids from the first camp that I have only seen once or twice since Seussical ended and they still run up to me and give me a huge hug or smile. They still thank me for teaching them, they still want me to know about their lives and how much they loved doing the show.
Holy cow! Can you imagine what the world would be like if we could all love like a child!? I have rarely felt such a pure love come from another human being. Watching these kids and feeling with these kids has taught me more about charity, the pure love of Christ, than anything else. I thought being a Relief Society President taught me as much as my mortal self could know about feeling and receiving that kind of love. But I've been humbled. :) The child-like trust and admiration I saw in the kids' eyes taught me even more. I didn't deserve that love. I floundered every day, I struggled to communicate what I wanted, and I felt like I was faking it and failing every time I gave a direction or advice. The kids didn't see that. They saw someone that was giving them an opportunity to have fun, learn, and have a great show to perform for their parents and friends. They saw strength when I saw weakness. They saw bravery when I saw cowardice. They saw knowledge when I saw ignorance.
I feel strongly that this is Christ's love for us. He knows we are going to flounder, fail, and struggle to communicate or do what we need to do. But he trusts us to figure it out. He knows we are capable of making a beautiful show out of our lives. He knows there will be conflict. But He also knows their will be resolution and lessons learned. Even when we fail or lose our tempers (or voices) He looks to us with love and trust in His eyes. He understands that we are needed even if we feel incapable and unworthy. (I have so many different thoughts in my head about how being a director is being Christ-like and how being a trusting actor is as well, so if this gets all jumbled just know it makes sense in my head, haha.) He sees our strengths, our bravery, and our knowledge. But unlike the kids, He sees my past, my present, and my future and He STILL loves me with this pure, unadulterated, and true love. He still loves you perfectly and completely despite knowing your past, present, and future. Love. It always comes down to love, doesn't it? What a beautiful truth.
August 11th was closing day. At the end of the day after cast pictures and during strike/load-in (when you take down everything from the show and get ready for the next) my stage manager handed me a huge poster board covered in notes and signatures from the kids. As they left I was drowning in hugs, gratitude, and tears. As hard as this experience was I would never give it up or trade it. I learned more about myself, my capabilities, and most importantly, I learned about the love of children and what it means to truly become child-like and full of the pure love of Christ. Obviously I have a long way to go, but everything begins with a single step, right? :)
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