The Struggle is Real My Friends

I have discovered this year just how prevalent addiction is. I knew it was a world-wide problem, but I didn’t realize just how close to home it always is. Every single person I know, myself included, is addicted to something: sex, porn, other kinds of sexual stimulation, food, prescription meds, other drugs, eating disorders, video games, their phones, social media, buying clothes, etc.

Some people would rate these addictions in order of which ones are better/easier or worse/harder. But really, they are pretty equal. If you are addicted to it and unable to control it (bad wording- I can’t think of a better word than ‘control’), it is inhibiting you from really being able to reach your potential. It is keeping you from doing something you really need to do and it is keeping your heart and your mind turned away from God. Being addicted to Facebook is just as hard as being addicted to drugs. It becomes a chemical and mental thing. It’s HARD. All of it.

This subject has been on my mind a lot the past few years. I dated a person addicted to pornography for a while and while I was dating him, I didn’t understand. It didn’t make sense to me how hard it could be to get rid of. See, I have this extreme amount of self-control when I want it and I am stubborn as heck- especially with myself. If there is something I really do or do not want to do, then it will happen. Especially if someone tells me what I should or shouldn’t do. So, why couldn't he? It didn't make sense how someone's brain couldn't do that. However, that mindset and self-control of mine has created its own problems in my life and lead to my main addiction/problem that becomes incredibly hard to let go of when I let it sneak back into my life. My brain creates a challenge- “How long can I do this? People tell me it is impossible to do this for an extended period of time and still be successful and healthy, let’s prove them wrong!” *insert facepalm* No, no it isn’t anything like drugs or something that would require a LOT of external help, so stop trying to guess. It doesn't matter. ;)

This past week I relapsed. It took some building up to, but I definitely started slipping into things I shouldn’t. A few weeks back a friend of mine told me that he slipped up. Another friend I know is struggling to try and do the right thing, but every day it’s another battle in the long war, and yet another is struggling with a very similar problem but has been doing really well at not slipping. I have another friend who is constantly afraid that it will be way too easy for her to slip back into old habits and so she shuts herself off to most people. Here’s the thing, though… we all still love each other. We are all supporting each other through everything we are going through. We seek to find ways to help and to make sure that we are all feeling loved and that we have the support we need to get through whatever problem we have. Two of these aforementioned friends I have told about my struggle this past week or so and they are each doing what they can to help. I wasn’t judged, I didn’t feel like their love lessened for me. Instead, I felt like they respected the fact that I chose to tell them and look for external help. I immediately felt that they loved me and wanted to do what they could to help.

I guess what I want to try and say with this post is to be kind to each other and be kind to yourself. We all have problems; we all have our bad days and our good days. Don’t judge someone else because you can see what they are doing wrong. The person next to you could be struggling with thoughts of suicide or trying to figure out how to tell their parents that they need help because they have become addicted to drugs, or they are trying to figure out why their life is falling to pieces around them, but all they show you is a smile and go running along their seemingly merry way.

I do not understand it when I see people who change how they act around a friend, acquaintance, family member, etc. purely because they found out something about this person. This person is the same person you know and love! There is nothing different! They just felt comfortable enough around you to share something with you. Don’t push them away. If someone opens up to you, it is because they need you. They want someone to be there and to be their support system. Telling you can be one of the first steps they take to recovering from whatever they are struggling with! But if you push them away, you could be pushing them right back towards their problem- whatever it may be.

Be kind. BElieve THEre is GOOD in the world. All things will or can one day fail, but charity- the pure love of Christ- will not and cannot fail. There will be plenty of moments in life when you regret not being kind enough, or not being brave enough to take that extra step and go that extra mile, so save yourself some of that regret! You will never regret being kind and showing someone love. Love is what created this world, love is what keeps it going, and love is what is going to take us back to our Father in Heaven.

I am far from perfect. I am sometimes really awful about how I treat the people I love. Sometimes I push them away because I’m scared, sometimes I push them away because I’m just stupid. But this is what I aim for. I want to be that solid support for those I love. I want to be someone that the people around me can rely on and know that I will love them unconditionally. You know how we are told our family loves us unconditionally? Well, we are all family. Spiritual brothers and sisters! So. Love. Unconditionally. This doesn’t mean support the things you think are wrong just because someone you love supports it, that isn’t showing love. But showing love also isn’t shoving your thoughts or beliefs or anger down their throat either. Balance. Crazy, eh?

Be kind. Have compassion. Be understanding. Keep an open heart. Seek help and guidance from the people you trust most. Keep your Savior close to your heart. Seek His aid, His comfort, and His love. I can and do promise you that you can have it and you can feel it. Find where you can heal. Allow yourself to be healed. Be happy. :)