Chasing Butterflies

Well it is 3:30 am. I'm a wee bit terrified to walk home in the dark to my home where the door is probably locked and I don't have my key. I can't seem to fall asleep. And I'm cold. Sooo what's better to do than blog?! Actually, I was doing something better... I was making CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!!! I love Christmas. I love giving those I love presents, notes, and joy!!! This is why it is my favorite time of year. I also really needed to use it as a distraction. I believe the reason I can't fall asleep is because I am scared of the images that will come to my head as I dream. As I was making my Christmas presents for some friends and family, I decided I wanted to know exactly what had happened in the Connecticut shooting today since everyone was talking about it. Bad idea. I remember after I watched Schindler's List and had seen some pictures of people with disabilities with awful comments I was a mess and couldn't really sleep well for awhile (see Safe Hav...

I feel as though I say this every couple of months... but it has been far too long since I have written! I will try not to make this one too long. I've discovered I am really bad at writing in my blog (and journal) when I don't feel like I am in a very happy or spiritual place physically, psychologically, emotionally. Coming to SVU has been one of the hardest things in my life. Things are SO different here, I stick out like quite the eye sore, and there is SO much conformity. It drives me nuts and makes me yearn for home and familiar people more than I ever have in my life. On the plus side, I have embodied even more of my crazy by coming here because the conformity drives me so insane! So I used to do some fun, odd eye make-up? Well now it is super fun and crazy with lipstick and wacky hair-dos. I'm loving that part of my experience. The more weird looks I get in a day, or the more people I can get to appreciate some weirdo outfit, the better. *disclaimer* this is not ...